As soon as I saw my best friend in school today, I could tell there was something wrong. His face was somewhat red and his eyes a little puffy. I asked if he was sick, just for casual conversation. That was when he told me that his father had passed away that morning.

I was stunned and had no clue what to say, except "you okay?"

The day went by rather awkwardly for me. I still didnt know what to do. Should I try to comfort him, or just try to make him forget about it. If I try to cheer him up too much, am I coming across as insensitive? I didn't want to ask much, but from what I heard, my friend went in to take a shower that morning and when he got out, his dad was on the ground, dead.


I'm obviously very sad; I knew his dad quite well, but I'm mainly worried for my friend. What do I do in this situation. Please, serious responses only.

Dont do the comforting crap yet. As you said he told you that his father passed away when you prompted his status diagnosis. He's fine for right now and wont do anything stupid, if thats really what you're worried about. He is at least realistic enough to know that what happened happened and is able to accept that life, literally, happens. Give him time to recover on his own. Also, being a dude he probably has his own set of pride he'd at least like to try and keep. Give it a day or two, a full week at the most before you go and start being mushy and feely with the problem.

Btw, when you do talk to him dont make him "forget about it". Just make him come into terms with it. I, knowing a friend who lost a close parent, know what im talking about. The worst thing you can do at that time is to just forget. Sure you want to but all in all you dont really always get what you want, do you? I mean hell, his parent is already dead in the first place.

So in conclusion "seem" insensitive, then turn around and ask about it.


P.S. Dont condemn me if something -does- happen.

Don't be overcomforting. Be there for him, make sure you'll offer support and he knows it, but don't insist on being near him; give him the space he needs to get over it on his own.

Be sure not to say "if there's anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to let me know". This is the biggest pile of bullshit ever and if anyone said that to me I would tear his eyes out.

I wouldn't.

I'd ask him to buy me a burger





Additionally, why the heck was this kid in school if his dad just died?

he is retarded

Seriously Kimber:

I was completely serious.

I'm actually surprised more people didn't have the same response

Thanks for the advice, Marietta and Status. That's what I've done pretty much so far - just kind of kept going but left him a little more privacy than I might usually. I did tell him he should come over to my house over the weekend, get some friends together, and watch some zombie movies. Something that we normally do to keep things flowing.


Btw, I did hear someone ask him why he went to school, and he said that he thought it'd take his mind off things.

The person I know whose parent died also went to school on the same day. I cant really say I would because in all honesty im not sure what I would do, but I can imagine that I wouldn't want to just chill around a corpse - sorry for the discreet bluntness. >.>

P.S. (maybe movies strictly about dying, dead, and eating stuff isnt the greatest. Rent a porno instead. )

P.S.S.
post 666 for me. D=

well, I do kimbo, but i would say that a bit nicer... its a bad situation for ajax also, pls dont bitch him right now...

one of my friends father died some weeks ago, because of cancer...
i was really shocked... didnt know what to say
i said "my deepest condolences" and "when you need someone to talk, you know my number and my adress"
but this is a really bad situation ajax :/
i dont even know what i would do...

Seriously....this is a serious situation wich I had to got through last year. The best thing to do is make sure you really try to be around to give your support if he is a good friend. I would get involved with the stuff that will follow like the wake burial etc. Also when you have free time try and kick with ur bud so he has someone to talk to. I remember who my real friends were and who I counted on to be there when I was at my fathers wake even the ones that just stopped by for a bit. It just meant alot to me.

take some "comedy based" movies instead.
i mean c'mon, his dad died... those zombie splatter shit are seriously the worst movies you can choose atm...

comedy is not better graph

depends on the person itself.

atleast its better then watching people shooting braindawgs.

well, thats my opinion.

my dad died yesterday, lets have a nice laugh together!

It doesn't matter the movie or the genre, all that matters if if the kid likes it or not, he just needs something to get his mind off things.