Holy mother of god!

Pretty sure this is the best opening paragraph to an essay I have ever seen, would love to read your autobiography.

Ajax if you don't mind I could copy this and let (CCP)Frang look at it. He has written several books and has a masters degree. Let me know what you think?

Sure, sounds great.

What's the question you are responding to? Seems a lot more general than all the BS essays I had to write (7 so far).

I think more caves in the conclusion would be over-doing it.

Also, you said imperative a lot, and "drastically important" sounds weird. Same for "utterly incomplete". Only sorta incomplete I'd say.

it just said to write a personal statement, 250 words minimum... as creative as you like.

then the common app is basically whatever you want.


Thanks for the other input. I'll look into revising those points.

he said email him bird@rpbird.com and he will proof read it for you and give some help!